a world of thoughts

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Pst Ulf conference is great...but shall nt blog abt it till sundae...

caught pink panther last nite wif s.x n k.s...it was a lame show...brought much laughter to me...it's realli lame...a gd show to destress...lol...

i'm wordless...lol...so much in me tat i wanna let out...but i dunno how to put it in words...i shall hold it till the words come to me...

ciaoz...

a shoutout to shuZ : i miss ya...meet up SOON!!!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

well...finally...a dae on my own...i need it actually...had to teach swimming...but thank God the lesson in the evening was cancel...could spend some time alone at home...nt tat i haf become anti social...but i seriously need some time alone to sort out my thots...

haf been facing happenings after happenings...i need some time to slow things down a little n think through certain things...yesterdae was a gd signal for me...i nearly broke down in front of many...come to think of it...am i realli strong or am i jus supressing my feelings? or am i jus escaping from the truth by keeping myself occupied wif work n other stuff?? i kept telling shuz to focus..i seem to be focusing...but am i realli focusing??

"Believe"..SOT 2005 grad service...tat word was mention umpteen times...meiyan shared once to believe in your members...those of you who came to my house recently...u would haf seen the word "believe" on my pin board too...but now...tat word seems so foreign...seems like the more i believe..the worse things get...haha...man...tis is realli a test on my faith man...haha...but direct copyright from miss xw "i'm bad at giving up"...one thing for sure...i'm nt gonna give up my faith in God...however...there may be some stuff i need to give up...i still haf to be realistic at the end of the dae...tat is why i gt sort out my thots.. think through carefully n pray abt it...which are the ones i ought to hold on n which are the ones i need to gif up n move on...either way...it will surely cause much changes in my life...

however...it's during tis period of time when i finally learn wat isit like to be thankful n to bless the Lord in all situations..there is always something for me to be thankful for...despite of all tat i'm facing...one of which is...i'm truely thankful for my friends...they are always there...lending you a helping hand...a listening ear..the friends tat i haf...at every stage of my life...are indeed a blessing to me...regardless of whether i'm still in touch wif them now or not...

basically there are 3 major groups of friends in my life...it's too long to type out all tat we went through...but i'm glad we cross paths in this life time...

my fairfield daes

my poly days

last but not least..

my church friends

tks peepz...everyone of you haf made a diff in my life...love ya guys...=p

Monday, February 13, 2006

jus came back from supper wif s.x...ops...guilty...hee...anyway...todae is my last dae of unhealthy living...as promised...after cny i'm going to be on a diet...yep...so...gonna start todae...lol...

anyway...seems to haf worry some of you out there who read my previous entry which i haf deleted it away...tks for all ya concern...things still dun look good...but i'm still holding on...=p keep me in ya prayers...=p

anyway...tis phrase just came to me...backsliding is like spiritual suicide...it's like a permanent solution to a temporary problem....how did i ended up tis topic?? well...know of some friends who backslided...n i wonder why...n some even said tat they are happy...well...i paused for a moment n reflected...trace back to those times when i left God..true..u will feel liberated...happy...but tat will NOT last...it's temporary..at the end of the day...you will realise...you still need God...tat explains why i'm back in His presence...i admitted defeat...

why did ppl commit suicide?? coz they feel hopeless in certain circumstances that they face? stress? out of foolishness?? n tat is why they chose tat route...thinking tat they will find eternal happiness after they leave tis mortal world...for a moment...wat they thot may be true...but..will they realli find eternal happiness?? i seriously dun think so...they will miss out much more...by ending their life here on earth...

same for ppl who backslide...b'coz of the situations they face...stress...peer presence...they thot they will be happier...haf a better life after they leave the presence of God? isit true?? yes i did thot tat life w/o God n not nt serving Him is gonna be a bliss...but i was wrong...i felt even more empty at the end of the dae...n likewise...i miss out on what God was gonna do in my life during tat 2 years...

dun get me wrong...i'm nt against any backsliders out there...i can't pin point at you...coz i was also a backslider once too...but wat i'm trying to put across is...dun use a permanent solution for a temporary problem...hold on...coz u never know wat is ahead if u hold on...stay in the presence to find the peace n strength tat you need...do not be fool by the temporary pleasure tat u may enjoy...go for the eternal...even if u haf already left...it's alright...jus come back to the race again n continue running...yes...time has been lost...but at least now u are back...you can continue to run this great race tat God has for you...=p

life is nt problem free...wat happens is you go through it victoriously...like wat xw wrote on her nick..."i'm bad at giving up" .. you can be good in everything but pls be bad in giving up...=p was reminded once again abt wat i had learn in SOT...God showed the disciples tat they are going over to the other side...but they were nt told how...neither were they told abt the storm...likewise...GOd has given you the dreams n vision...but He never told you how it will come to past n wat you will go through...but one thing we can be assured of is tat despite of all that we may face..Christ is there throughout...jus like the storm that the disciples faced...Christ was there...so hold on...soon the storm will be over...=p

wat is your vision n calling?? stay focus...dun lose it...=p

i'm suppose to teach later..shall zonk off now...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

will be gone for a period of time...

sorry peepz...

meanwhile take care

Monday, February 06, 2006

Take Off My Shoes

I’ll take off my shoes, I’m coming in,
Untie this rope, I’m staying with him,
Love of my life, I’ll live and die,
Just for the moments for my king and I.

Why did you call, why did you wait,
For someone so guilty, someone so fake.
There are no words for my beautiful song,
Now I’m in the arms of my beautiful one.

Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones,
With your fire.
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone,
Keep it pure.
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth,
King forever.
Hold me, love of my life lead me on,
Through the fire, lead me on...

I’ll take off this crown and fall at your feet,
The secret of joy are the moments we meet.
How could a man with all of your fame,
Pull me from darkness and call me by name.

So hold me today, as I carry your cross,
Into the desert to find who is lost.
Look at my hands, they’re still full of faith,
God keep them clean till we finish the race.

One of Delirious? songs...n it says it all...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

well...the long break is over...it's back to work...it's back to reality...no more holidae mood..hee...

well..the past few daes haf been well spent...wif family n friends...n of course wif endless supply of food...haha...yours truly has officially become a pig...haha...

caught "i'm nt stupid too" on sun wif my cousins...it's a great show i feel...a show tat reminded how important it is to be generous wif your praises...what you sae to ppl around you do affect them to a certain extent and also..be accepting...like the msg pst kong preached during cny service..although it's a local production...i still feel tat it's worth the money to watch tis show...=p at nite met up wif oli n xiaowei..had coffee n headed home..

tues nite met up wif my sec sch pals..it has been ages since i last saw some of them...although there's onli like 6 of us...including ben who left earlier...it was still a great time of catching up...we talked, ate n drink...lol...n also did silly stuff at river ang bao..hee..can't wait for the next gathering wif them...=p ended the nite wif them at mr bean...it's a nice place...great place to chill..=p reached home at abt 3++ in the morning...totally zonk out by then...hee

well..todae i'm suppose to go meiyan's place...but coz last min had to do some visitation...so can't join them...n the best thing was...hee...i couldn't wake up in time to do those visitations wif my mum...hee...my mum gave up on waking me up...so she went alone...feeling so guilty sia...hee...gonna make up for tat tis wkend...hmmm... anyhow...my cousins came in the afternoon...created a big mess out of everything...n now my house is still in a mess...all tks to them...haiz...left home to meet up wif some of w67 ppl for steamboat...n coz of tat i still smell of the steamboat at marina...can someone think of a way to revamp tat place?? to make it a less smoky place to haf steamboat?? hmm...hee...

k...i'm realli crapping already...mind is shutting now...

bottomline is...i had a great cny...despite of all tat is happening...=p

some pixs wif my sec sch pals at river ang bao...=p